Purple

Why do you insist on hurting me?
Why do you always pretend you have no idea why I’m angry?
Do you think it feels good to be ignored?
Do you think its fun to tell someone you love them, and then fuck with their emotions?
Is this all a game to you?

How much more direct, do I have to be?
When will you see things from my perspective?
Why are you playing dumb?
Or do I mean that little to you?
Is everything you’ve told me, a lie?

You have drained me.
I have nothing left to give.
You have hurt me so much in the past few weeks.
And I am confused.
What you say and what you do, don’t match.
I don’t think it ever did.

I’ve tried so hard to be patient with you.
I’ve always been there for you, when you were down.
But where are you, when I need you?
You always put me last.
I am always your last priority.
Do you understand how that makes me feel?

I don’t think you do.
I thought you and I connected.
We did. At one stage.
We both had the same purple aura.
We both had the same visions of the future.
We both wanted the same fucking thing.
So, what happened?

by m

Pink

Why should I forgive you? You’ve done nothing but constantly try and piss me off. For someone who says they love me, you really have an odd way of showing it. I am not some punching bag that you can take your anger out on nor am I just an object you can choose to ignore when you feel like it. I have every single right to be angry at you and your fucked up excuses. Don’t give me the “oh Im sorry babe, so much shit happened last night”, can’t you come up with a better excuse?

You think that just because we aren’t in the same country, you can just toy with my emotions and feelings? Well Im sorry to say, but you’re completely in the wrong, buddy. I have no desire to play your stupid games. And if I was to play it, I would win. You cannot out run me.

You expect me to be understanding and caring and loving, but I never get any of those in return. I have done so much for you, and that isn’t to say, that I did it expecting something back, but I would like a little show of love or some sort of understanding.

I just told you the other day what I needed from you, and what did you say?… Yea, thats what I thought. Don’t say shit, if you can’t follow through, because that is just as bad as words with no actions.

You want me to visit you in your country, but yet you show no interest in how Im making the plans or how much money I am actually forking out. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t want your money, and I don’t want you to feel bad because Im going there, but a show of compassion for how stressful planning a trip can be would be fucking nice.

You think I enjoy being angry with you? Well, again, you’re wrong. I don’t. I hate it. The only good thing that comes out of this, is my writing. It astounds me that you cannot see what you’re doing. I know you’re not stupid, and I know you have a brain, so maybe you need to use it and think about your actions.

You say that nothing has changed, but it clearly has, because it was never like this. You used to be so understanding, so loving and so caring, but it seems to me like you have decided to stop showing that you care. And to be honest, it fucking hurts. It hurts so much, that it’s gonna take a while for me to get over this bullshit.

You want me to always be there for you, but when do I get the time to have my needs and wants met? Once you’re completely satisfied of being immature and bratty? I do not think that is very fair. I have tried so hard to be patient and not get angry all the time, but my patience is wearing thin. I’m at my boiling point and you have pushed me over my limit.

What bothers me even more is, that you think, I’m angry cause you’re out with your friends, or because you’re drinking. You couldn’t be more farther from the truth. I have no issues with you being fucked up with your friends and doing fucked up shit that boys do when they are out. But ignoring me is really, just gonna make shit worse. What did you say to me before? I’m the best thing thats ever happened to you? Well you fucking show it really well.

This is not a threat, nor an ultimatum, but I will not hang around any longer than I need or want to. I deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and all you’re doing is treating me like shit. I deserve a “pink”, lovey dovey kind of love, not this disgusting murky black coloured one.

by m