It’s cold. It’s dreary. My favorite kind of day. One thing is missing, however.
On a day like today, the day that requires the warmth of somebody, I miss you.
I know. I don’t show it. But that is my tactic. My coping mechanism. I need to stay distant. I can’t have you breaking my heart.
The past few months have been hard for us. Although you didn’t notice it, it was extremely hard for me. I was losing myself in this whirlwind romance.
I thought that I would keep seeing things in my rosy pink tinted glasses. It made me see everything in such a positive, loving way. But that was because I realized I loved you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I still love you. But we’ve fought so much, I’ve compromised a whole heap of things. I’ve tried to change the way I am to better suit you.
It’s just different now. Ive realized I can’t do that. I have to be me. And you have to love me for me. And I love you enough to be able to admit that you don’t love me for me.
Not right now, anyways. It may happen. It may not. I guess it’s all in the power of the universe. Or fate. Or destiny.
I don’t want to break up. That’s the last thing I want to do. I want to help you. I want to nurture you. But only from a distant, until you realize your own potential, your own worth and how much I truly love and care for you.
Until then, I’m going to put my rosy pink tinted glasses away. And put on my mature, realistic glasses.